When i first started my new job, my goal was to start as the dishwasher, rise up to do more kitchen stuff, and eventually cook. The day i changed my mind was the day i felt very zen about my job. I thought i wanted to work full time (at the restaurant), but i have decided that working at the restaurant 3-4 days a week is exactly what i want/need right now. It gives me the time to pursue my other passions. I like my job and i like the people i work with. I’m quite content. But its not a career.
I’m awash with ideas and ambitious short term goals. It all makes me quite nervous. There is a gate to a better world opening up in front of me, and if i don’t go through it now i may never get the same chance. It’s time to hustle like i never have before.
I don’t know why I struggle with motivation. All my life I have had grand ideas, but there is a wall inside myself I have always had trouble climbing over. I’m over it. I’m knocking the bitch down.
I am not in touch with my emotions. They are a puzzle game i’m rarely in the mood to play, and when i am in the mood, i get frustrated and give up.